.Thursday, September 11, 2008 ' 3:49 AM l
This blog is dead like me. . . Even since we broke up i been unable to sleep at all even when im laying on the bed my eyes is close but yet im awake. I very tired about it but i just cant sleep. Our memories just keep flashing around my mind. How happy we will last time what we both had been through and how far we done. But still our love are weak, i knew you still love me but i believe you wont wanna come back to my side anymore. Im sorry i been very rash this few days towards you, saying words that i shouldnt had said to you. Kinda regret right now. It been 6 days i havent took a min of sleep. You're the 1st girl i had ever loved the 1st girl i ever treasure the 1st girl i ever been so far and so much with.
Our story
Our love started : 16/08/07
Time : midnight 2am plus
We started chatting because i cant pass my license in audition and so i phoned u up and request for your help. But when u agree to help me the sever was down so we had a very long chat on the phone. We started off by chatting about our life now and about our past being together. After a long chat finally we confuse to each other that we still have feelings towards each other and so our relationship start.
1st month: Honeymood month.
We meet up almost everyday happily dating together loving each other more and more. Trying to understand each others mind. But i met an car accident, i landed badly inside the hospital and was about to lose my life. You cried while standing beside my bed at my ward, you held my hand saying i love you and telling me i will be fine when im crying and shouting in pain. I knew i might not make it and was giving up, but you told me right behind i faint. You said claudius i really love you please dont leave my side. This sentence went right into my heart, i told myself not to give up no matter what because i got a sweet loving girlfriend and a warm caring family waiting for me. Finally i made it, i escape from the death and i was discharged on teachers' day. Life after that accident was very suffering due to no energy inside my body, u came to my hse everyday to take care of me, i still rmb one afternoon when i was emo-ing inside my room worrying abt my health. You came in and give me a very tight loving hug and said dont worry i will be fine. That time that moment im so happy to have you.
2nd month: Our 1st argurement
We had a very big argurement on the phone by sms. You cried after that argurement, when i heard it my heart breaks and i really felt very sorry about it. We meet up the next following day and still we are that loving. But ahead was ur exams and mine to making us very busy but we never felt to meet up just for that while. We may had argurements but we will always be fine the next day no matter what. We went out on a date watching movies and i teach u to play DDR. Back then we was still sweet and loving that everyone who knows us will find us so loving.
3rd month: Our 1st break up
The 1st time you sounded for break up because of jun qi. My heart was hurted badly. That was the 1st time i really cried my whole heart out, but still u came back to my side bcuz u still love me. But when we patched back we dont have time for each other, your camps and CCAs and my job. But u waited for me even thought we didnt meet for the whole month. Im so happy that you will waited for me and i believe we will go for a better future together.
4th month: Our 1st cried in front of each other.
I was very sorry that time to say those words, you ran away to other blocks and i chased you. You was so sad that you went to punch the walls and i couldnt stop you. But when i join in and punched the walls you hug me and stop me. I wants to tell you im truely sorry about what i said and i promise never again i will let u harm urself anymore. Few days later was my god brother b;dae you stay overnight at my hse, that time when you fell asleep i gave you a very small sweet good night kiss and hug u and sleep. That time i was starting to treat u my last and only woman of my life. Early in the morning the 1st thing u done was give me a very loving hug when i just woke up feeling very blur~ I wish those time never move staying there as long as possible.
5th month:
We still very loving but because of my bad temper or urs we had fights but we never had any argurement in front of each other at most inside sms. You started to join me in dinner with my family and my other relative too. Starting to get use to my family hahahs. . . My mind at the point of time was treating u as my wife. At i promise i will take care of you for life and love you till we step into the grave.
6th month":
Valentine day i bought a teddy bear flower and went into your school. When you saw me you was shouting and running around feeling very shy while im feeling shy walking towards you at the canteen where there is a lot of students. You took the flower and said hubby i really love you. After sch i accompany you home and let you change ur outfit. After that i propose to you with our couple ring that will you be my wife and never leave me again, you answered yes and i put on that ring and we hugged each other tightly. That was a very wonderful monment the 1st time i had couple ring and the 1st time i propose to a girl. It's all very worthly as long as that girl is you.
7th month & 8th month":
We didnt had much datings on because of my father illness, but you came down everyday to my house and accompanying me. I remember once when we was very bored and you went in my bedroom and we had a pillow fight hitting at each other jumping around my bed like kids. We even shared our plans for our future when we get marry and you wants to bear a girl and a boy for me.
9th month: 2nd serious break up
You knew a guy name kenneth for a short period of time and you likes him. We broke up and i was crying again. Back then we had a lot of argurements that mades us difted apart more. But in the end we still came back to each other, you still love me and still willing to stay by my side. . . That time i dont really know what to say but just the words that i always means it I LOVE YOU.
10th month 11th month"
We been moving like normal life, everyday i will fetch you to sch and home. You will come down to my house to find me and then we will go arcade to dance. We smile we cry we fight but we love each other truely deeply madly.
Finally 1 year:
Finally we been together for 1 year but our story ends when your mother found out about what we done in our r/s that makes her angry and break us up. You cried and so do i, but that time our love was weak. You faded feelings for me and for me im facing lonely and saddness myself. Right now you had a new guy who is just ur friend that send you to sch and home. I feeling very jealous when i saw the both of you, im jealous im sad im angry and i went to hide in a concer not to let you both saw me. When i asked u, you told me u was with some1 else studying. You lied to me.
All i wants to know is how much you love me right now, What are you thinking in your mind about me and you? Does our story comes to an end here? H0pefully you will gave me ur answer by sms. I wait your answers. . .
This will be my last post im sorry about it.
Once a man a lover of yours but now a guy a friend of yours.
I never regret that i had this relationship with you.
You was my first girl that i had ever wanted.
I love you truely from my heart
and i really needs you
but now
im crying all alone here. . .
