.Wednesday, July 11, 2012 ' 1:52 AM l
My family was made up of a sick but never gives up father, a weak physical but strong heart mother, a young inexperience brother and a stubbornly stay strong but fragile heart me.
Home back then was nothing but a place for me to sleep. Family wasnt important and i got freaking tired of their nagging and scolding. Always saying why did i had sure a stupid family. Whenever my parents will to scold me or something advise me i will definitely start a quarrel with them. Throwing my temper around showing attitude to them without fail. Saying hurtful words that made both of them cry. Worse still i tired to pick a fight with my dad who was sick. Back then i gotten so rebellious and always doing the opposite way from what my parents wants. My day and night were mixed up totally. Spend lesser time at home and more time outside either working or slacking. Back then im always hunger for enjoyment and thrill in life. Always doing stupid stuffs that will cause us troubles with my friends during the night. Back then i neglected their care for me their love for me and in the end i made lots of mistakes in life and even landed myself inside hospital. Wasted a lot of time doing meaningless stuff that gains me nothing. Back then i was useless teenager who rebel and neglected my family.
Im 22 this year, just finished serving NS in SCDF, during this time in SCDF i faced dangerous incidents that nearly cost my comrades or my life. Landed myself inside hospital because of mistakes. During those time in SCDF i faced family problems, relationship problems and friendships problems. At that point of time i couldnt find anyone to talk to, i lost sight of my path and cant think of anything to pull myself back. I never dare to talk to my family about my problems and how bad i am feeling because im scared to show them the weak side of me. I always put a very strong me in front of them but i kept every pain in my heart. During those times my family never stop caring for me and never stop worrying for me. Eventually they still found out that im feeling bad inside. They stay by my side helping me out on my relationship and my friendships. We stay by each other side facing our very own family problems. I never realize that they really cared for me a lot and loved me that much after so many mistakes i done so many bad things i made and so many disappointment i gave to them. They never gave up on me no matter what i had done before. They were always there for me when i need them just that i closed my eyes and heart on them. Recently i faced a hurtful relationship which totally scared me out. I was so freaking down till i had no courage to face it at all and was totally demoralize by it. My family never fail to stay by my side trying their best to cheer me up. When im feeling down they are feeling down too. When i cried so hard, they are crying too. But all this action they made was not shown to me because they wants to cheer me up. They hided their pain away so that it wont makes me worse.
Right now im working at MarinaBaySands as casino dealer. Currently attending their course to train me to be a dealer. Whenever i reached home from work, i will always see my dad waiting for me to reach home and a sentence of concern asking me how's today? Am i tired ? While my mother will definitely wake up from her sleep to ask me whether im hungry or not. Both of them are gonna work the next day but yet they still stay up late or even wake up from their sleep just to concern about me.
Home right now is no longer a hotel like how i used to be. Home now is a place when i relax myself totally after work, feeling of being cared and loved, smiling as the sun rise in the morning. Home a place when i cried so hard but will always had someone to stand beside me telling it's alright. Home is where i felt warm and happy because my family is with me staying there. I can never felt any more comfortable outside than HOME .
The End
.Friday, July 06, 2012 ' 1:21 AM l
Back in this blog again ^^
The reason why im here is because there are no other way to express how i feel at this point of time.
All i had to say is I WANTS YOU BADLY.
But i dont know how you felt towards me...
I dont even know if the time is right.
All i plan to do was to let fate decide and bought me to you...
I can remember clearly that fateful day i met you.
That fateful day was My first time experiencing Love at First Sight.
I rmb how i approached you and the replies you gave.
I remember how you treated me in our relationship.
But somethings just left me confused and that was a sudden changed from you.
Oh well i told you once before it's hard for me to find another girl who understand me that well like you do.
Years had pass and the feelings are still the same.
I fall in love too fast, care too much and get hurt most of the time.
But no matter what had been happening, every now and then im still thinking about you.
Hoping for a chance just a chance to make things right with you.
Oh well i just goes on working hard to achieve my goals and be a responsible person.
And wait for that moment to come
