.Friday, August 14, 2009 ' 5:04 AM l
Things going up and down for me.
Ended a relationship recently and nothing much affected me.
Asking myself why am i feeling nothing about it?
And i can't even answer it myself.
Met up with sooyi few days back at lot1.
Have a short trip of chatting with her while sending her home.
She was sharing her problems with me.
And this question went up my mind:"How important is my present in this world?"
At night as i can't sleep, finally pouring out my pain to sooyi over the phone in sms.
Felt kinda lighten up but things just went as usual the next day.
Just now met up with josephine my childhood friend to check up on how's she had been coping.
Same thing and question came up my mind again when josephine to me this.
She said:"Claudius do you know how important your present is? If one day i will to fall, people around me will fall too!"
I recalled Wendy told me some similar too, she said:"Everyone can leave her but not ME because i'm someone special to her!"
I made a promise to Wendy that i will never leave her no matter what or how, will always be there as a friend or some other relationship.
The same old question came up again How important is my present in this world?
Finally i felt ii'm not doing fine more and more because it's seem i'm getting more and more lost about myself.
Just a moment of time when josephine said:"Claudius" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This moment it remind me of wendy, the feeling of wendy was there was so strong as if she was actually there but,
when i look up if was actually josephine my childhood friend.
Some things seem familiar about josephine and wendy but i just can't figure it out.
Maybe i'm thinking too much after all.
Felt a bit relax to hear from josephine that she's coping well in her family and her son.
As for wendy i'm happy to see her having a good boyfriend which is taking care of her right now.
So i guess it's about time i leave this place but i guess it might be a hard one.
After all there is still some weight that i'm unable to lift off.
I'm still holding a torch for Wendy after all is past and history.
I always said to many that "What is yours is yours and what is not will never be yours"
It's meaningfull but am i doing it like what i said to many?
In fact i never been into a relationship that i felt so comfortable and so "mature" in a way.
It totally change my life giving me the light and colours to my life.
Maybe i might sound kinda childish but i really just can't explain it as if i'm writing a story.
Last thing to add on, You can understands others needs and feelings but it's not easy to understands your reall needs and feelings.
